she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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