Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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