I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
