I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
