he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
