he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
