i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
