At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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