I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
