Umm I'm too high to move.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
