he wants to bone in the snuggie
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
