Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
