I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
