So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wish my penis had an off switch
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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