your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
