I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
