I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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