She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize