you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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