Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
