ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
