What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
