Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This house was built for laser tag.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
