As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
