I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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