K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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