Only a mothe r could love this liver
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
