is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize