I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize