I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize