Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize