If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
