Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize