how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
