dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
