you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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