My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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