I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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