Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
