Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
