just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
