he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
