i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
