kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
