Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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