girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
