honey bunches of taint.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize