So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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