i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
