my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
