Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
