I want to have your abortion
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
