Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
