covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
