I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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