There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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