The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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